I learned a few years back that childhood memories tell something about our personal psychological profile. Usually, we are described only by temperament (the four famous, classical temperament: sanguine, choleric, melancholic, phlegmatic) but I agree with some authors that there are other significant factors defining our personality. Aside from temperament, these factors are: childhood memories, birth order and love language. I'll share some more about these but for now, I'll stay with childhood memories.
According to psychologists, memories stay for some significant reason or reasons. Memories may be sad or happy (or somewhere in between) but they are all significant. If past experiences were not that significant, time would eventually erase them. Of course, sometimes, diminished physical and mental abilities tend to wash out even the fondest memories and so we lose the details but we know there must be something very significant when we are moved deeply by some reminders. We may not be able to articulate the recollection but we know if it was something significant.
I was too young to know my age and other details of the circumstances but these are things that I recall of my childhood. To the best of my ability, this is my estimate of the chronological events in my life as a young, (smart, handsome) kid:
1] Builder, helper
Papa (my biological father) was working with a neighbor laborer, Sandy (Domingo Sarmiento), on the roof of our house. Our house was new, under construction but almost finished. I picked a piece of wood and I was giving it to them atop the roof although Sandy was closer the edge of the roof and therefore nearer to me. Well, he wasn't very near because I was just a small kid on the ground and the roof was definitely higher than me. I was looking upwards, extending my hand with the piece of wood. I remember the surprised look from both Sandy and Papa. They were smiling broadly. It was like them saying, “Hey, you're too young and small to help out as a laborer. You're supposed to be playing, not working. Besides, what do we do with that piece of wood?”
Well, I don't really know if they ever said those words. I just associate those statements with this memory.
2] Birthday specials
I remember a birthday was a very special event because I was pampered with these birthday specials: lechon (pinoy-style roast or barbecue pork), cake, birthday gifts (toy, new clothes, shoes). The lechon has always been a vivid image. We were raising several pigs and one of these has to be butchered and cooked for my birthday. The lechon was so big, overwhelmingly big that I felt it was quite a feast every time. It must really be a grand celebration.
Later, we also raised poultry (native, free range chicken, 45-days broilers and layers). Life must be getting hard so my parents would serve chicken (fried chicken and other chicken food variants) instead and spare the pigs. I guess the swine can bring more income than chicken.
In all these birthday food preparation, I remember the primary character behind was Mama Ging. She is the younger sister of my maternal grandmother. While staying with us, she was also running an eatery. She's a very good cook. She's very organized, quite a disciplinarian, excellent in managing finances. She was like a surrogate mother for us while our parents were at work. She enforces strict schedules for sleeping time, siesta, eating, playing, studying.
The other secondary characters (which means their images were not as vivid) were my parents, Pedring (a househelp), my siblings, Tito Nick and some godfathers and godmothers.
By the way, this kind of celebration was also true for all my siblings. The celebration would fade away as we grow older.
3] Brave, vigilant protector
My mother tagged me along one time to a class she was teaching. While she was writing something on the board, one of her students, on the way out of the classroom, passed by her table and quickly took her wallet (leather, cream colored with specks of dark brown flowers) underneath the open desk. I guess no one saw that except me.
I quickly dialed 911 on my iPhone and I also called the FBI. In a snap, hordes of heavily armed helicopters and fighter jets were hovering around the school. Snipers were deployed everywhere. CNN, GMA 7 and ABS CBN reporters were fielding questions to me left and right.
Alright, this is what really happened. I immediately approached Nanay, and frantically tugged her skirt with my tiny hands to alert her about the crime. She then called the security guard. The guard later caught the student hiding at the comfort room at a nearby building.
In that event, I never feared the student. I guess he knew that I saw him but he probably thought I was too young to ever care about reporting theft to anyone.
The event must have happened during weekdays and if I was with my mother during school hours, it is highly probable that I was younger than 5 and not yet going to school. (I entered grade 1 at 5.)
I also remember people praising me for my vigilance. I felt like a superhero of some sort.
4] Birth right
I must be school-age already when I learned about birth right although I think I received some sort of homeschooling lessons from my parents and Mama Ging. This memory is also related with birthday specials (above) to some extent. I had always received a profuse amount of affirmation that I am the rightful successor to the throne of my father. I may be the 4th child but I am the first born male and so I am special. The birth right, which I imagine as some sort of very, very grand privilege, does not go to Ate Joy even if she is the eldest because we were told that, as in biblical accounts, birth right goes to the first born male.
I attended the Inarihan Seventh-Day Adventist Multigrade School where Bible was one regular subject, just like Math or English. I was given some Bible lessons at home and in school about Abel and Cain, Isaac, Jacob and his sons Joseph, Benjamin, Reuben, etc. and the concept of birth right among these characters.
I don't remember any violent reaction from my siblings about me getting the birth right. It might be interesting to know how each of them felt about it especially Ate Joy and Fr Rico, my youngest brother.
5] Positive affirmation. In my earliest days and years as a young student, I had been showered with great amount of words of affirmation that I am intelligent. Later on, I observed that other people, including first time acquaintances and strangers would naturally compliment me or perceive me as someone very intelligent even without me doing anything or presenting any proof.
Of course, I enjoyed the attention and I didn't bother to check if their feedback was accurate enough.
There is something macho to intelligence even without you wearing designer clothes, working out at the gym or doing some skin and hair care regimen.
Kuya Dennis (a chemical engineer from UP Diliman) captured it succinctly when he said: “I never knew I'm handsome (to girls) until I became 7th placer.”
And so, I may not have the stature of Brad Pitt and Piolo Pascual but you know how I felt when I landed 5th place (agricultural engineering) some years later. Of course, movie offers didn't come and I would wake up to reality soon enough.
...to be continued.
next:
Family Sundays, concept of sin and God, attention and warmth, tatay, concept of responsibility, meritocracy, age of turbulence, life foot prints
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